Mait and Wobalitz

Before I share some stuff about my daughters, I received a scripture from a friend from Fairhope.  She was my core leader in my CBS bible study group.  I felt a connection to her then.  She and I had lunch one day and I felt that maybe she battled like I did.  She never said so, I could just tell.

2 Corinthians 11:30 “If I must boast, I will boast about the things that show my weakness.”  Wow.  How encouraging.

On to my girls.  If you have followed my FB page since 2011, you know Mait’s struggle with scoliosis.  Unfortunately I don’t think it is over.  She is one strong chick.  I admire her.  She wrote a paper about me that I will share later.  It is humbling.  She is a good writer.

I am going to focus on Elizabeth, or Wobalitz.  Dean couldn’t say  Elizabeth when he first started talking so he called her Wobalitz.  Of course it stuck.  She says she doesn’t like it but it is her email address.

Elizabeth is going to be my child who takes care of me when I am old and infirmed.  She already does that.  Dealing with Bipolar and Depression is tough.  Days exist when I just cannot function.  This is when Elizabeth takes over.  She cooks, cleans does laundry, you name it.  I try to tell her how much I appreciate it,, but I feel sometimes she does not believe it.

Elizabeth is very strong willed. She is stubborn and determined.  The day I found out I was pregnant with Dean, her motor turned on.  She was 18 months old at the time.  She did not just learn how to get out of her crib that day, she JUMPED.  Dennis and I were falling asleep and we heard THUMP.  It scared us to death.  I just knew she was dead.  We walked into her room and she just stood there with a huge smile on her face.  We did not even bother with rails on a big bed with her.  She had no desire to sleep in her room at this point.  We had to put one of those safety knobs on the inside of her door to keep her in there at night.

Elizabeth has been a force since.  She has one noise level: loud.  She makes herself known. You have to in a big family.  She has these beautiful big brown eyes and an infectious laugh.  She is beautiful and does not believe it.  I have to show her I love her in different ways than the others.  She does not want me to hug her.  She likes it when I tell her I love her but she acts like she doesn’t.  We bond by going to the grocery store together.  She loves to bake.  She knows all my basic recipes and kicks me out of the kitchen when I start dinner.

I have colitis as well.  I was in the hospital last summer and she came and sat with me for hours while they were pumping me with steroids.  We don’t have heart to hearts.  She just wants to be there with me.  She wants to know I am not going anywhere.  She calls me ten times an hour when I go run errands.  She is a home body.  She would rather go with us somewhere than out with her friends.  She has a small group of good friends.  She prefers it that way.  She is such a cool kid and I try to make sure she knows that every day.  Some days her temper takes over and it is hard.

Speaking of temper… When we first moved here, a bird would sing out her window at 6 am every morning.  It wasn’t so bad on school mornings but one Sunday morning she had enough, got out of bed and kicked the window out in her room.  She got 9 stitches in the bottom of her foot.  The nurses and doctors at the ER couldn’t keep a straight face.  At the time she didn’t find it so funny.  She was supposed to start 7th grade dance team clinic the next day.

Those are my girls.  I will get to the boys another day.Image


Medications and Such

This post will probably meander.

First, I have heard from a couple of people since yesterday who I have not seen in at least 15 probably 20 years.  Pretty cool.  One had depression and says she battles it instead of suffers from it.  We will use the word battle from now on:)

My other friend could relate to the man/woman in the head thing but she related it all to Star Trek.  I couldn’t do it justice.  I have always thought she was one of the funniest people I have ever known.  She also used to scare me a bit in high school.  Funny the things you remember?  She was not a mean person.  I just thought she was pretty cool and wouldn’t want to hang out with me: depressed brain talking.

OK, onto medications for depression, etc.  I say etc. because in 2005 I was also diagnosed with Bipolar II with depressive manifestations or something.  Look it up in that diagnostic manual.  Just don’t read WebMD.  I know you do, don’t you?  I used to as well.  I diagnosed myself with three different kinds of cancer!!

Once again, I digress.  The number of antidepressants out on the market now is staggering.  This is why you should go to a psychiatrist and not your GP.  These medications have so many side effects and react differently to so many different medications, that you need someone qualified in psychotrophic medicines.  Big word, not sure if I spelled it right.   A major side effect to some of these is suicidal tendencies.  BE CAREFUL!!  BE HONEST with your doctor.  Ask your GP for the name of a reputable Psychiatrist.  Give them all medications you are taking even vitamins and OTC.  I sound like a pamphlet don’t I?

Side effects from these meds are many.  You could have dry mouth, the shakes, dizziness, stomach problems, anxiety, and the worst, weight gain, etc.  Read about the side effects and talk them over with your doctor. You have to find what is right for you.  Also, it takes about two weeks for them to take effect.  The upside?  That little creature in your head might just shut up.

I know I slipped in about the Bipolar deal.  It is not a lot of fun.  Many people are dual diagnosed.  You may be as well.  They kind of figured it out by my telling them my past history and experimenting with some prescribed drugs.  When you think Bipolar, you think Lindsay Lohan or someone.  Unfortunately, I think that may be her problem.  Many artists battle it.  They mask it with booze and drugs.  It is scary.  I am diagnosed with Bipolar II which means I don’t go into hyper manic states where I stay up for days at a time and get in my car and travel across the country.  I am not trying to make light, but you have to find the humor in this stuff.  I have been known to mop the floors at three in the morning.  Getting up at three isn’t he concern, it is that I actually wanted to do something that related to cleaning the house.  I can go into a mixed state where my mind races but I don’t really feel like doing anything at all.  My mind wants to go for a run but my body wants to get back in bed.  Here again, my husband, the saint, has had to put up with some major stuff.  I have hurt him bad through this.  Again, thank him for being my rock.

If you are depressed and Bipolar and they just give you antidepressants: disaster.  Antidepressants cause Bipolar people to be manic.  How about that?  All those years I was on antidepressants and still feeling even crazier than before, it was maddening.  I did a lot of impulsive stupid stuff and I hurt a lot of people.  I am no proud of that.  But when I was diagnosed, I was relieved because I knew they could help me control the symptoms.  At one point I thought I should just be locked up in a padded cell.

Back to meds.  After a while, a long while, they can wear off and you have to try a new one.  You may have to be on one that is not generic yet: EXPENSIVE!!!  Thanks to Obama, it is going to get worse, but I just can’t go there because I will be in a padded room.  I digress again.  It is my rambling mind.  PLEASE take your meds as directed.  Don’t quit because you are feeling better.  You will feel sick as a dog if you quit cold turkey: think major hangover times three.  Sometimes they wear off and you have to try a new one.  Please be HONEST with your doctor.  I cannot say that enough.

I hope you all will have a great day.  I am sure something will pop through my brain later today that I think you MUST know about:).  I am taking my Mait to the back doctor again today to discuss a possible fifth surgery.  She hurts so badly.  We just aren’t sure whether she would be better off if the rods were just gone.  Her spine is straight and, God willing, should stay that way.  We just ask for prayers on whatever decision we make.  This is where I am bad about stopping, praying and listening to God has what to say.  If you have any verses that might be helpful right now, I would love to receive them.

I will keep you posted.